Thankfully I learned this a while back, from a colleague back in 2000.

He regularly told us stories of some extravagant surprises he’d be planning for his mom or his dad (or both). When people remarked on this, he replied that you must do things like this for your family while you can, because one day they’re not able anymore and you don’t want regrets, you want great memories.

For all he turned out to be a selfish back stabbing liar in many things, in this he had his heart and priorities in the right place. And I am glad it inspired me to do some trips and other things with both my parents.

Things like that become particularly important right now after I have had a chaotic 2 weeks due to the biggest scare yet with my mother’s health. It doesn’t matter that you have known for years that there was an incurable, deadly illness - when suddenly things get dramatically worse overnight you are not ready. You think you have prepared yourself to let go, but there you are, all day in a waiting room in a hospital, giving DNR instructions and seeing someone you love barely conscious, with lots of tubes and surrounded by beeping monitors… and you just want to scream, cry, pound a wall…

The crisis is over for now but it will happen again, and I won’t be any more ready for it.

So go on, spoil your family while you can.

It can be taking them away for a weekend, or cook them a meal, or just spend more time with them at home, or do something nice and helpful like repaint their house or help in their garden…